A RESTLESS HEART FALLS IN LOVE
Matthew
11:28-30
"Take
my yoke upon you...and you will find rest for your souls."
“Thou
hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its
rest in thee.”
St.
Augustine "Confessions"
On the Sunday before Lent some Christians celebrate
the Feast of the Transfiguration. You
know the story well. Jesus takes Peter,
James and John up a high mountain where they experience Jesus together with
Moses and Elijah transfigured before their eyes. They are overwhelmed by the presence of God. But the vision soon passes and they go with
Jesus down the mountain to begin their journey to Jerusalem and the cross. Some would call their mountain top experience
mystical, an experience in which the disciples are caught up in the Spirit just
as Moses was on Mountain Sinai or Elijah on Mount Carmel. These were overwhelming experiences of God as
Moses led the freed slaves on their journey to their land of promise, and before
God sent Elijah back into the political maelstrom
to speak truth to power. So, too, Jesus
and the disciples are overwhelmed by God's presence as they begin their journey
to the cross.
I begin this promised Lenten series on the
"Christian Mystics" on the Mount of Transfiguration in order to make
it plain that Christian mysticism is not a way of escape from the world, but a
profound sense of the presence of God that enables us to live life fully in the
world. It is not a religious experience
that separates us from our fellows and our responsibilities, but an experience
of God that enables us to live more compassionately, responsibly and justly. Of course, mysticism means different things
to different people and different traditions, but for Christians it is all
about being overwhelmed by God in the midst of daily life, even though it may
begin on a mountain top. It is like
falling in love. It begins in ecstasy when
we are overwhelmed by beauty, but being and remaining in love takes place in
the daily, ordinary course of life with its hum-drum chores and inevitable
suffering. But that does not mean who
have falled out of love, for it is that experience that sustains you over the
long haul. This is the testimony of St. Augustine, the first of the
"Christian mystics" whose journey into the mystery of the love of God
we will reflect on this first week in
Lent.
Augustine was born in 354 in present day Algeria. His father was a pagan and his mother,
Monica, a devout Christian who ensured that he had a Christian education. But soon after he went to university in
Carthage , turned his back on Christianity and took a mistress to whom he was
faithful for fifteen years. Augustine
was particularly interested in philosophy and became a member of the Manichaean
religious sect. But after nine years of
seeking the truth he abandoned the sect and opened a school of philosophy in
Rome. Soon after he went north to Milan
where he came under the influence of the bishop, St. Ambrose. But it took a while before he himself was
converted as he struggled with his intellectual doubts and his carefree way of life. He was a restless soul searching for true love
and peace. Eventually, while reading
Paul's letter to the Romans, he made his decision and on Easter Day 387 he was
baptized. He returned to North Africa
and while visiting the city of Hippo (Annaba) he was suddenly seized by the
people who presented him to the bishop for ordination! Not too long after he himself became the
bishop. And thus began a remarkable
career during which he wrote several books that have profoundly influenced the development
of Christianity. Augustine died in 430 as the Vandals from the North were
attacking Hippo, having already destroyed Rome.
As a bishop struggling to deal with powerful heresies
that were dividing the church, and living in a time of tumultuous political
change, Augustine was deeply engaged in the life of the world. But his involvement was profoundly shaped by
his deep mystical spirituality which he describes in the pages of his Confessions, one of the most significant
books ever written in the history of Christianity. It is a very personal book in which he tells
us the story of his search for truth
over the thirty years before he finally decided to become a Christian. But looking back over his life he discerns
how it was the God in whom we “live and move and have our being” who was
actually always seeking him! “I should
not have sought you unless you had already found me!” Augustine cries out. He also comes to the realization that God's
truth is not to be found in the proudly wise, but in the humble of heart. And, he confesses, his search for truth only
came to fulfillment when his restless heart found rest in God. “You have made
us for yourself, O Lord," he says in his most often quoted words, "and our hearts are restless until they
finds their rest in you.”
Several times in his Confessions Augustine relates his
experience to the words of Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are weary and are
carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and
learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for
your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my
burden is light." This is precisely
what Augustine discovered. In taking up
Jesus' yoke, or the discipline of discipleship that we are reminded about each
Lent, Augustine found that it fitted him perfectly, and in following Jesus he
discovered that his restless heart was finally at peace, finally happy and
filled with joy. Such joy is not just
the starting point of Christian mysticism, it characterizes it all the way on
the journey ahead. For it is all about
falling in love with the one who first loves us, and loves us with the passion
of Calvary. We can't explain it in
carefully constructed words, only in poetry and praise; we cannot say precisely
what has happened to us, because such love defies analysis. But the first thing to learn about Christian mysticism is that it is about
falling in love with the source and fount of love. Here is how Augustine describes it:
Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so
new: late have I loved you. And see, you were within and I was in the external
world and sought you there, and in my unlovely state I plunged into those
lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you.
The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence
in you, they had no existence at all. You called and cried out loud and
shattered my deafness. You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my
blindness. You were fragrant, and I drew in my breath and now pant after you. I
tasted you, and I feel but hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am
set on fire to attain the peace which is yours.
John de Gruchy
Volmoed
1 March 2017
First week in Lent
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